Story Telling– What story are you telling yourself?

Are you good at telling your own stories even if they are the wrong story to tell?  Are you telling the same story over and over trying to get a different response either from yourself or from others around you?  Or how about do you feel you get told great stories from others but then feel they fail to back up their story with actions?  How would you like to change the stories you telling to get the life you want?  I have the secret although it really isn’t a secret.  GET OUT OF YOUR OWN HEAD!

Yes, it’s time to get down and dirty.  The only reason you aren’t getting the life you want is because you are telling yourself the wrong story.  Plain and simple.  On that note as well if you find that you are one to quickly believe someone else’s story without having the actions to back it up that as well is you needing to get out of your own head.  Truth be told.  Your outside world is a reflection of your inner world and if you are a great story teller to yourself you are going to be attracted to great story tellers as well.

I am not going to sugar coat this or make this seem ok by any means.  You are Self-Sabotaging yourself!  You are playing the victim role.  Quit playing the blame game and start taking responsibility for your own actions.  Yes I know, everyone hates to admit their part in anything which is why it is so easy to play the victim.  When we play the victim we get to blame everyone or everything else that is going wrong with our own lives.  But did you read the last part of that sentence?  OUR OWN LIVES!!  That’s right it is your own life so YOU and ONLY YOU are responsible for what you create.

Trust me when I say this.  I was the queen of the victim role.  Whether it dealt with a relationship, friendship, environment, job, etc.  I blamed it all.  That way I didn’t need to look at what was really going on.  And what was really going on is that I didn’t love myself.  I didn’t trust myself.  I didn’t have any sense of self to stand up on.  The moment I decided to stop playing the victim role was probably the most terrifying experience.  It was the moment I could no longer blame anyone else for how I felt, for what my life had come to, and for the choices I had been making.  So I get it.  I get that playing the victim role is so much easier.  I will tell you this however, the moment I started taking responsibility for my life, I GOT MY LIFE BACK!

This has been an ongoing journey and one that is not mastered but it is a work in progress and every day it gets easier and easier.  I no longer look to others to ‘fix’ my life. I look to myself and ask what can I do to change this outcome?  How can I chose to see or react to this differently?

The moment you step out of the victim role you can begin to start telling yourself some new stories.  Stories of things you want instead of stories of why something is not working.  When you step out of the victim role you also allow others to step out of it as well.  You listen to their story.  You get to decide if it is a good story and a story worth seeing if it comes to light.  Or you can chose to listen to their story and go the other direction.  Either way, YOU CHOSE!

What will you decide to choose?

Imagine This…..

Imagine this…. Your ego is kicked on high. Your inner critic is telling you all sorts of false statements like… You will never get to where you want to go, you aren’t good enough, you aren’t pretty enough, he or she will never like you, etc

Now imagine what it would feel like to have the tools and resources to quickly turn that ego off. To be able to get to a peaceful place of your higher self easier. Your ego will always be there trying to get the best of you. Trying to keep you vibrating lower. Imagine having the self confidence to go about your day from a place of love instead of fear.

My program and readings can do just that. Spiritual guidance only comes from a place of love. Feel better about the direction your life is going. Feel better emotionally and mental and you will even begin to feel better physically. When our inner world is out of balance our outer world will continue to show us how our inner world is reflecting outwards.

Stop self-sabotaging yourself, stop putting others worth before your own, stop beating yourself up. I can help and I am guided to help. You are worth this investment. You are worth showing the universe you have decided to stop settling and start creating.

Say YES to you. Contact me it will be the best investment you can make! Love and Light Xx

Journey to Self-Worth and Self-Love

Did you know that every person has an equal amount of negative qualities about themselves as they do positive qualities?  These numbers have to be equal.  You can’t have one without the other.  They go hand in hand.  Did you further know that you can take a negative quality and ‘flip it’ into a positive.  WOW!  What an amazing feeling, isn’t it?  Here is an example…. I am OVERLY SENSITIVE.  I hate this about myself.  I take things too personally, I am very hard on myself, and I feel let down quite often.  Now let’s flip it and turn it into a positive.  I LOVE so deeply.  I love BIG!  So you see I can’t love as big as I do without being overly sensitive.  When I look at it this way it makes me embrace the fact that I am overly sensitive.  When I was younger I used to get so mad at myself for caring so much.  I would tell myself to just get some tough skin but as I have grown older I have come to appreciate this quality about me.  Because of this I am able to touch other people in ways many cannot. I have often been told by friends that they wish they could love as big as I do.  I love without condition, I love selflessly, it is pure.  I am currently in the process to write down all the negative qualities I think about myself so then I can ‘flip’ them.  How Empowering?!  I encourage you all to do the same and see what you come up with.  Your energies about your own self-worth will change and allow more self-love to shine through.  It isn’t as easy as it sounds though. It will take effort.  You may get discouraged and want to give up.  If this happens simply just take a break and come back to it.  It doesn’t matter how often you need to come back to it, what matters is that you are doing it.  You can also take it one step further and share it with a loved one.  For me the feeling of connection plays a powerful role in me ‘Doing the Work’.  If I know I am going to share it with someone I am more apt to finish.  Not to mention having the extra support and encouragement is priceless.

I get told very often I am too intense, too emotional, too sensitive, too much for people.  I now LOVE all of these qualities about myself.  They are all my core gifts.  They are what separate me from the crowd.  I chose to no longer try to ‘fit in’ with the crowd but to pave my own path.  My goal in life is to speak to as many people as I possibly can and to touch as many lives and hearts as I possibly can.  These core gifts are where my passions stem from.  I wouldn’t be able to be a passionate motivational speaker, spiritual empowerment coach or psychic without these characteristics.  Realizing this didn’t just happen over night.  It was a day by day process.  This process consisted of falling down quite a few times in order to see the light.

What are your core gifts?  What are your passions?  What excites you?  If you aren’t aware I encourage you all to dig in deep and find out.  When you look deep into your soul and listen quietly to your thoughts without ego that is where you will find them.  Each and everyone of us has core gifts.  We all have a spot in the Universe that has our name on it.  No one else can take that spot.  So get in tune with yourself and get moving towards your spot.  It is there for the taking.

The Act of Forgiveness

Are you someone who holds on to hurt, resentments, or anger maybe?  How does that make you feel?  This is when we call onto the virtue of forgiveness.  Forgiveness is another way to bring peace to our soul.  It allows us to let go, so that we can move on.  I am one to know how hard it is sometimes to forgive others of their actions at times.  Most of us know that holding onto the hurts really only affect our happiness.  So why hold onto this hurt?  Why hold onto resentments or anger?  Sometimes you want to hold onto them because you feel that it will make the other person possibly hurt more than you do.  The person who has hurt us probably isn’t even thinking about how they hurt us or how much anger we may be holding.  This is where we need to just let go.  We need to somehow release all this negative emotion so that it frees us to welcome in peace, healing and happiness.  Yes, trust me I know how hard this can be at times.  A couple years ago I was faced with in my eyes an ultimate betrayal.  My best friend at the time, and I mean the person I did EVERYTHING with hurt me in a way I never thought possible.  I was crushed.  I just remember sitting on my couch with both of my children on each side of me holding my hand while I cried.  I was in a state of shock for days, even weeks.  I felt like my brother died all over again.  I had given this person so much power over my life.  She was my first phone call on my way to work every day and my last phone call on my way home.  Anytime I needed to confide in someone it was her.  After days of hurting, of anger, of heartbreak I finally decided to take the power of my life back.  I decided to let go and forgive her.  Was it easy? NO!  Did it take me reminders? YES!  I realized holding on to the pain was really only affecting me from living again.  Once I was able to truly pick myself back up and let go.  There was an immense sense of peace and hope that enveloped around me.  By no means did my forgiveness of her actions allow her a space in my heart and life again but it did bring me back to life again.  In fact, it lead me to the start of finding myself again.  I found a passion within me that I hadn’t known before and to this day this passion is alive and well inside me.  It is my passion for bodybuilding.  So it took me getting knocked down to bring me to the path I was meant to follow.  Now that is a blessing in itself.  It’s funny because now I look back at this situation and as much hurt as I felt I now look at if with gratitude.  I am not sure I would have found my path of bodybuilding without this happening.  So the long and short of this message is to remember the next time someone hurts you intentionally or not, acknowledge the hurt, feel the hurt but don’t hold on to the hurt.  Release it and bring peace to yourself.  Forgiving others is not to forget but to remember how to live again.  After all Forgiveness is a Virtue.

What’s driving you — Love or Fear?

We get so offended when we feel we have been backed stabbed but do we ever think about our own role in the event?  Honestly, we are the ones who opened up door and trusted someone hoping they wouldn’t stab us in the back but we alone gave them the ammunition to do so, didn’t we?

If we aren’t acting from love we are acting from fear and there are many forms of fear to act out of.  Have you ever looked up how many words in the English language that represent Love compared to the words that represent Fear?  It is such an enormous difference no wonder why it seems so natural for us to live from fear. Fear is what can destroy us.  Fear is what destroys relationships.  Everyone is so insecure, they betray others to try to feel bigger and better about themselves, but the funny thing is….they don’t!

Have you ever been approached by someone who has been hurt and listened to their story?  Of course we have but have you ever thought to yourself what the ‘other’ side of this story might be?  You may even have some good proof or documentation that supports the hurt of the person but more times than not you are only getting half of the facts, half of the story but yet you are so quick to form a judgment.  A judgment that isn’t is your place to form.  It is all in our ego.  Our thoughts can distort the truth to validate or justify a person’s hurt or anger.  This is not what love does.  This is not what our higher power does.  And mostly this will not bring us to our true selves.   In order to follow your soul’s purpose we MUST see things through love and ONLY love.

Judgment defined is the evaluation of evidence to make a decision- opinions expressed as facts.  I believe the key word here is Opinions.  Opinions and emotions can distort the facts.

People often times say they don’t put judgment on others but yet they do.  There is judgment everywhere.  So much so that many of us are insecure or afraid to be who we are.  We constantly live our lives trying to be something we aren’t.  We live from a place of fear which in return causes heartache, suffering, shame and guilt.  This causes us to do things, act on things or even react to things in a way that doesn’t allow ourselves to be true to who we are.  Mainly because we have lost who we are along the way.  It opens up a constant struggle on our values and our beliefs.  People will find multiple justifications for their behaviors.  If someone they feel has wronged them in any way they are quick to respond back with retaliation.  They want to wrong the other person to make them feel better about what they have done.  This causes a vicious cycle of emotional behaviors that aren’t based on all the facts or based on distorted facts.  Do you ever wonder what a situation could look like if people stopped playing the victim and started owning up to their part in the situation?  We are NOT victims in fact we are main character in our own stories and we all play the main role.

I encourage you the next time someone comes to you with a concern, hurt or frustration to yes listen to what they have to say but also take into consideration that there is ALWAYS more to the story and that it is NOT in your place to put judgment on any situation. Imagine what would be like to receive what you are sending.  Then, take it to the next step.  Decide ahead of time what you would like to recieve…and send it. Karma simply put, our deeds, thoughts and words return to us sooner or later and they do so with astounding accuracy.

Embracing Your Relationship

We all know how hard relationships can be especially in today’s society.  It seems we are all so quick to give up or so quick to move on if things don’t go the way we want.  Maybe our expectations are too high, maybe we get a little selfish, or are we the type of person who always has to be right.  The fact is relationships are hard, plain and simple.  They take work.  It takes truly learning the other person.  It involves compromise, compassion, mutual respect and empathy.  I am still learning what all it takes to build a healthy relationship but I have also learned a thing or two along the way.  I find that when you do meet the person that captures your heart then and there you have a choice to decide if this person is worth ‘the fight’ to have a blissful relationship.  I use the term ‘the fight’ loosely in meaning that there is NO person that will meet all of your needs and wants.  It isn’t realistic or attainable. That is when you find out there are more things you are compatible with than not.  Something I have learned is that to really focus on the positive qualities your partner brings to the relationship rather than the negative.  If you are constantly focusing on the negative that is precisely what you will get.  If you focus on the positive your relationship becomes that of peace and joy.  You can truly find happiness among any difficulty you may face.  Remember that just because you think one way doesn’t mean that your partner is wrong for their thinking.  One way is not better than the other and if you keep this in mind you begin to look at the other persons thoughts with love and not resentments. Embrace your differences.  These differences can enhance your relationship and introduce new ways of thinking a long with new discoveries and that can be exciting.  When dealing with two different view points and ways of thinking it may take you out of your comfort zone but stepping out of your comfort zone to reach out to the one you love can be very rewarding.  You may not have to understand your loved ones needs but if you love that person than you need to love the things that make that person who they are.  I am certainly no expert when it comes to relationships but I do feel through some of my experiences I have some valid points.  The one thing I really want to point out is in this big world there are really only a handful of people that truly love and care for you so if you are lucky enough to find someone who loves you with all of their heart and to all of their ability— Ride the roller coaster with them, Learn with them, Grow with them, and LOVE them.  Love them selflessly, Love them with all you have and don’t let go.

Persevere–Just when you think you can’t, You CAN!

Everyone has a dream.  Some look to their dreams as just dreams and dreams alone.  Never thinking it could amount to anything therefore never taking the steps to possibly achieve that dream.  Others look at their dreams as goals.  They not only dream about it, they let the dream take root within themselves.  They realize that the dream goes beyond just thinking.  They start looking at the steps needed to achieve such a dream/goal.  They visualize themselves achieving that dream and finally they believe they can accomplish it.  But what happens when something or someone happens to cause you to doubt this dream.  Whether it be a setback, or someone telling you that you can’t there is one and only one word that comes to mind….. Persevere!  Perseverance definition: continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition.  No matter what the obstacle, no matter what others say this is when we reach down deep, we discover new strengths and set new limits.  It was May 2012  that I was faced with not just one major setback but two.  I had come off of 3 bodybuilding competitions and after months of dieting and depleting water 3 times in the matter of 5 weeks my body rebelled on me.  I gained 17 pounds of water retention in just 4 days.  I was in so much pain and discomfort from the swelling it took me into the doctor’s office which led to me getting on a very intense diuretic to try and shed the water.  While it helped some after the 10 days my body still rebelled and I needed to go on a diuretic that I could take for a longer period of time in hopes that my body would somehow normalize.  My severe edema led into my body going into a state of adrenal fatigue.  Adrenal Fatigue is when your body is unable to produce the adequate quantities of hormones leading to adrenal insufficiency.  On top of my battle with adrenal fatigue,  I was outside running one day at lunch and while in a crosswalk I was hit by a car making a right hand turn.  This accident led to a sprained ankle, multiple contusions, pulled quad and groin muscles not to mention my back was really messed up and still is to this day.  I was in the process of an offseason training through all of this.  My goal was to switch from being a bikini level competitor to a figure level competitor.  I needed to add a good amount of muscle to do this.  While the process of ‘bulking’ to begin with can lead to mental anguish in itself top it off with these two setbacks and I felt lost.  I hit a complete low.  I questioned myself daily.  I found myself is a state of depression and felt like I hit bottom.  Although I was having these thoughts and quite discouraged I still was determined to make my goal come true.  I was on crutches for about a month.  I still went to the gym and trained my upper body through it all.  I couldn’t train legs nor do cardio but I was hell bent that I was NOT going to let this stop me.  Even though I still trained as best I could I found myself still gaining weight and still flare ups of swelling.  I had reached a high in my weight that made me so uncomfortable in my own skin I started to pull away from others so I wouldn’t have to feel insecure.  It wasn’t until a weekend spent with my team that my trainer saw how much I was struggling and we decided at that time after the trip it was time to switch things up.  My cardio endurance was low considering not being able to do cardio for about 2 months.  I slowly started to get my endurance back.  Cardio was increased and training was getting easier.  I was able to lose 10 pounds in a month.  That help to build my self-confidence back and helped me to gain sight of really accomplishing this goal.  I fought hard, I was determined, and I disciplined in every possible way I needed to be.  I PERSEVERED!!!  In about 6 months I was able to add 12 pounds of lean muscle mass and lean out.  I competed in my first two figure shows on March 2013 & April 2013.  I did it!!  Just switching divisions alone is a task at hand but being able to switch divisions faced with setbacks makes my goal a VICTORY!!  If you are truly passionate about something NEVER give up! Keep fighting, Keep believing, and Keep going.  I turned my setback into a comeback and you can too.

Looking at Life through the Eyes of a Child

As I woke today, the day after Thanksgiving I found myself reflecting on the holiday and all the blessings that came my way.  When I was putting my 9 year old son,Noah, to bed he so anxiously tells me that he had his Ipod touch alarm set for 6:30 am to start his day.  I chuckled a bit and told him that he should let his body tell him when it is time to wake up as we had no place to be that early in the morning.  It didn’t really dawn on me until this morning after Oliver and I had finished our fasted cardio, which I was dreading after indulging in all the Thanksgiving day food and treats, that Noah was so excited to start a fresh day that he wanted to get up so early.  As an adult we tend to think we need valuable reasons to get out bed to start our day earlier than we would like.  We get up for our jobs, for our workouts, for our kids but most often times we rarely just get out of bed to simply enjoy the new day.  Noah had no extra special reason to want to get up that early.  He just wanted to start the day, whatever the day may bring.  I just kept thinking how awesome that my 9 year old son just reminded me that every day is a day full of new adventures and opportunities.  I love how children view not only the world but themselves.  They are not scared to be themselves, they are not scared to ask questions, to inquire more about this fascinating life to them.  They look at a tree and see adventure.  They look at a stick and find a magic wand.  What is it as we grow up that the magic tends to fade?  Why is it we start to let our own fears lead our lives?  I am on a clear journey to find inner peace so on this journey I find myself asking a lot of questions.  We respond to life with only two emotions–Love or Fear.  I have been paying closer attention to my own thoughts, actions and reactions.  Which ones are out of love and which ones are out of fear.  Then I take it a step further for those that are lead by fear and ask, What is it about this situation that is making me fearful?  Knowing why I might be fearful helps me to evaluate and look at the situation through the eyes of love.  When I can calm myself enough to allow love to flow through a weight gets lifted off of my shoulders and I can feel the presence of peace flow through me.  Looking at life through the eyes of a child is tapping into the mystery and miracles life has to offer.  You can be told time and time again that there are limitless possibilities to each day but until you believe it through faith you stop yourself from feeling it and seeing it.  We often try to only look for the big things life has to offer.  It isn’t until we look at life for all the small miracles it has to offer that we can open our hearts and minds to a world of wonder every day.  We don’t need the EXTRAordinary big things in life to feel as if we are living.  We know we are living a purposeful life because we are grateful and loving every day through everything.  So I encourage you all today to make a new start.  To look at all the wonders of the day with love in your heart and a smile on your face.  Remembering that even a sunrise, sunset, a smile of a loved one or even a smile of a stranger can be a miracle in itself.  Once we see life as a series of small gifts can we then appreciate it as God intended us to.  Life is full of limitless possibilities and we have opportunities everyday to see life through the eyes of love and not fear.  Being grateful for everything bring us only more things and even bigger things to be even more grateful for.  Peace and Blessings to you All!

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